A Beautiful Illness
Dilla was busy in her tent as always but this time things were quieter and a bit lazier than usual. Caleb had left the village, after Dilla’s request to cool his head off a bit and, while he was a bit, he would pick something from the village. Kai, her baby boy already growing healthily, had missed some of the pies of the village so Caleb agreed into bringing some for their lunch that day (Kai was more than happy to go on a small adventure with him at that day) and Ballard had also taken some meat from Simarah’s tent (one of her older sons had caught some really nice wild gazelles in one of his traps) so now that the matter of food was off the hook, she had the time for some of her weapon maintenance (mainly the leather straps needed changing) and then she could clean up the tent a bit. At that moment she was putting some clothes and fur blankets into her chests (freshly washed and dried in the sun) when she jerked her head up at the usual and very familiar sound of footsteps and breathing. She could recognize them anywhere; her twin brother.Ballard.However what Dilla could not recognize was the insane rhythm with which the man was now practically half-marching across the village. He was also breathing shallower than usual and he seemed agitated or worried about something. One thing was for sure though; he was heading towards her. The footsteps and the light creaking of grass and pebbles on the forest floor was coming closer and closer towards her tent. She wasn’t mistaken. Not too long after she made that thought, her tent’s entrance curtain was drawn aside to reveal Ballard. Her huge brother, among the tallest men in her village, if not the tallest one, a giant of 8.5 feet of size and a pile of hardened muscle was standing there and his face had an expression of a panicked animal, running to find refuge from some predator. His huge chest was almost moving up and down. He wasn’t really rasping for air, at least not because he was tired, but because of the emotional state he was in. Dilla couldn’t recall seeing him like that before in her life!“Dilla!” Ballard almost cried out as he entered the tent, “You have to help me…”Dilla was alarmed at that behavior, much more to the fact that he was asking so desperately for her help as if he was drowning.“Ballard!” said she alarmed, “Of course…come in”Ballard breathed out as if he was relieved and he entered the familiar environment of her tent. He was happy that Caleb and Kai were missing. He would hate it if he became a burden in any more people than he was already but this weight in his chest needed to be lifted off and he couldn’t hold it in anymore.“Ballard, what’s wrong?” Dilla asked as she was helping her brother sit down upon one of the chests.Her hands gently touched his shoulders as he did so.“I think I am ill…” Ballard mumbled miserablyDilla was ready to get worried. Her brother rarely ever fell sick (well as a matter of fact any of the Tribals wouldn’t fall ill so easily as humans due to their body temperature and immune system) plus he would never panic like that unless it was something really serious. Ballard was not the type of person to rush at someone else for help for minor stuff and even if he was sick, usually Dilla being there for him (or Simarah) would be enough. However right there and then, came Ballard’s explanation.“I feel terribly…” and then he jerked up almost smiling (his arms making expressive, feverish moves so unlike his usually calm composure), “…and then wonderfully!”Dilla blinked in confusion. She touched her chin in thought but immediately smiled mischievously as Ballard went on, as if lost in a delirium.“…and then…wonderfully terrible and terribly wonderful…”Ballard making no sense…Ballard shaking and talking excitedly…Ballard moving around and almost losing control of the strength in his voice…and finally…Ballard smiling brightly and having a sparkle in his eyes she had always wanted to see were what made Dilla feel like a proud mother at that moment.“Euphoria…” she mumbled teasingly (and then added in her head “My stars…it got so serious already!”)Ballard’s hands now touched his head as if trying to put his thoughts in order, as if barely realizing how insanely he sounded, as if trying to make some sense out of his own condition.“I cannot eat…I cannot sleep…”“I see.” Dilla mumbled, “And you can’t take a proper breath but you don’t care”Ballard jerked his head up, as if looking at her for the first time, pleasantly surprised that she could understand what he meant.“Yes!” he said feverishly, “Exactly! What do I do?”“Tell her how you feel.”The answer; so clear and so simple, echoed in Ballard’s head louder than any bell he had ever heard in his life. Suddenly, realization stroke him like a boulder; heavier than the hammer he used to bang the hot metal and give it shape. The answer; so obvious and yet so complicated was there all along. He had lost his words completely; he went from the absolute insane mood of agitation he was before to a stillness of shock as if someone had frozen him solid in a second. Dilla watched his mouth gaping half-open, chin slightly trembling by the hidden tension, with a look almost of sympathy. Oh, her poor brother... What he always wanted…came when he expected it the least!“B-But…” Ballard managed to stutter, “H-How can I…?”“I’m sorry” Dilla said softly as she caressed his shoulders, “Here I cannot help. It is something you must find out on your own…”Letting her hands slide on his shoulder and she went to move the coals in the pit. Her brother probably would need some drink or something to calm himself. Ballard on the other hand remained in his position, still too much in a shock to do anything. After all this time…hoping, praying…wondering… Dilla arrived with a small cup in her hand, filled with warm tea. Ballard grabbed it without even noticing what it was and chugged it down in one go, coughing a bit in the process. Dilla took the cup from him and patted him on the back. Oh, her poor brother, she thought again. The large warrior looked at his hands as if observing the scars and blisters of his profession for the first time.“Dilla…” he finally whispered, “Do you really think it is true…? That this feeling…this incredible, this indescribable happiness I feel whenever I am close to her…the way I feel my heart flatter in my chest every time I hear her laughter or see her smile…”His hand moved over his large chest where his beating heart was. Dilla would have sworn it was beating faster now.“…This unimaginable pain I feel every time I see her tears roll down her cheeks…this emotion that makes me feel like my heart is being cracked open every time she is sad… This unstoppable need to be beside her…all the time…and feel half when I am apart… This feeling…is indeed…”He swallowed hard. As if the word itself could choke him.“L-Love…?”Dilla snorted sympathetically and smiled at him. She patted his back in a humorous way to lighten his mood.“Yes, brother! I am afraid you are terminally and definitively ill! And there is no cure I am afraid. I caught the same when Caleb arrived here… I am sorry to tell you but you definitely are sick with the beautiful illness of love!”Ballard drew a shaky breath. His hands were shaking too.“After all this time…” he whispered, “I thought…I had stopped hoping… I thought it was just not meant to be for me to find my One…”“I told you then and I will say it again; someone like you is not meant to be without love. You are made to love and taking care of someone, Ballard. It’s in your nature”Ballard smiled weakly at her. So it was love… After 30 years of yearning… And it was with her…“What do I do…?” Ballard whispered again, “What should I do?”“Ballard you must tell her how you feel” Dilla insisted, “She has the right to know”Ballard did not even ask her how she knew whom they were talking about. One didn’t need to be as intelligent or as experienced in life as Dilla to know. But her words almost drove him to panic again.“Oh, no! I could not do that! She does not see me like that. She is in love with Caleb. If I told her now, I would confuse her with my feelings. I could never bear it!”“…-allard!”A familiar voice sounded from the distance. Dilla went to the entrance of her tent and smiled mischievously again as she saw Cornelia at the middle of the village. She had her hands around her mouth like a sound box (probably out of habit since she probably knew by now it would be unnecessary to “strengthen her voice” among them). She looked so beautiful in the sunlight and she was dressed in one long dress made of best deer leather (Ballard had definitely outdone himself with that one).“Well…” Dilla said half-smirking, “That doesn’t sound like Caleb’s name that she is calling out there!”“Ballard!” came the voice clear again.Ballard shot up from his sitting position as if he was hit by static electricity. Dilla almost rolled her eyes. The man’s reflexes seemed intensified by one hundred when he heard her calling him. He got up and went to the entrance himself. Dilla chuckled.“There, go to her, she’s waiting!” she said“I…I mean…yes… Yes I will” Ballard said no more as he half-ran, half-walked out of the tentOnly then Dilla felt a small tear forming to the corner of her eye. She slowly mopped it with her finger, watching her brother walking with open and secure steps towards the golden-haired Earth Guardian.“After all this time…” she whispered to herselfShe smiled softly at the scene.“Go for it, brother…” she whisperedFinally her brother had experienced what he always hoped for… Love began to bloom inside him… Golden-haired Cornelia Hale, also known as the Guardian of Earth had slept fine that night. She felt grateful to Ballard for it. Last night she was again worried that she might get her usual nightmares of some of her rare cases of sleep-walking in her agitated sleep. Ballard was kind enough to let her stay in his tent that night as well. Every time he did that, she was sleeping like a bird the past days. Ballard would wake her if she had a nightmare or protect her if she was to start sleepwalking. She felt so safe close to him like she could sleep while hanging from a hammock over the edge of the Universe and even then he would be somehow able to catch her. That morning she wanted to make it special for him; return the favor somehow. And during her morning walk she found it. “Good morning, Rathard!” she called at a large man that passed by her sideShe had begun learning the names of these people who were kind enough to take her in despite her weird “alien” behavior and her mental struggles.“Ah, pleasant day, Earth Guardian!” the man greeted her back“Have you seen Ballard?”“Yes, he was around here… Ah! There he is!”Cornelia turned around and her smile broadened to her lips, seeing that huge warrior approaching her. Ballard’s skin was shining like bronze under the morning sun but what truly got to her to smile was his sweet face. He always had that gentle face which was so contradictory with his intimidating physique.“Ah, good morning, Ballard!” She greeted him smiling, “I hope you had a good night sleep!”Ballard smiled softly with a blush. She was so beautiful in the sunlight (he could feel it with all his acute senses).“Good morning, Earth Guardian” he said with his usual polite way, “Much Gratitude for your question. I had a very good sleep. I hope you did too”Cornelia nodded.“I’ve been looking for you actually. I found something in the forest and I wonder if you could help me with it and tell me what it is”“Oh?” Ballard asked smiling (the reddish blush seemed to be darker on his face with her interest), “Of course, Earth Guardian. I would be honored to help”Cornelia giggled almost girlishly.“Come on! You don’t need to be so formal! I am not a Queen you know!”Of course Cornelia had to admit that she did enjoy the way he treated her. It boosted up the confidence she had forgotten during the years she was struggling to cope with her loss. However at times she felt as if this gentle giant was a little bit too polite for comfort as if he was seeing her as way more important than she actually was. To her surprise still, the giant blushed even darker.“I…of course…the Great Matriarch is… I mean, no, it is not you…I mean…she is not you…you are not her…but…”His confused speech was interrupted by a loud laughter. Cornelia found his childish shyness so adorable! How easy it was to make him “shut down” when he was in this mood! She never expected it to be THAT easy! Ballard smiled. Her laughter was music to his ears. Finally he did know why. Subconsciously he brought his hand to his chest where his heart was increasing a beat every time she was smiling or laughing or even by the fact she was wearing the dress he had made for her. It was the latest one, he noticed.“Oh, Ballard! Thank you! I really needed this!” she said when she stopped chucklingBallard turned pink.“I…” he cleared his throat, “I am glad…”She smiled back and she gestured with her head.“Well come on, then!”After a short walk down the path (to which Ballard felt as though his heart would break from happiness that Cornelia was there, with him and that she needed his help for something that did not involve her being unhappy), Cornelia led him to a really tall tree. And she looked upwards.“There!” she said pointing up with her white hand, “What’s that?”What she was pointing at, which Ballard could detect with his acute sense of smell and hearing (which was assisted by a discreet whistle he left out of his lips only to get the echo location properly). It was a large fruit of really vivid orange color. It looked like a mombin fruit (or a mango) but at the size of a small watermelon. It was glistering graciously at the sun falling on it. Ballard smiled.“You are indeed, very fortunate, Earth Guardian. This is a Morovin fruit. It belongs to one seed type that travels with the air and gets rooted into the trunks of fruit trees. It does not grow on its own tree and it needs nutrients from others. It is quite rare to find a good one before some animal gets to it first. It is also really sweet and tasty.”“Ah is that so?” Cornelia asked while eyeing the fruit.Ballard swallowed hard and blushed.“Would you…” he stopped for a second as if to gather his thoughts, “…Would you wish me to get this for you…?”“You could?” Cornelia asked eyeing him surprised.The tree was really tall and there were barely any branches around it (pretty similar to the trees one could spot on earthern rainforests).“I could easily get it down with my powers if you-…”“Ah, no, please…there is no need. You need to reserve your energy, Earth Guardian… It is not trouble for me…really…”“Oh… Okay then, if you really want to…”Cornelia had to admit she really liked his intense need to assist her in any way. She somehow felt like saying “yes” would make him happy. At the same time though she had to admit she did like it that he was offering doing stuff for her. Back on earth she would have called this “chivalry” and she would often complaint that it was hard to find (Peter was a rare exception to the rule to her) but Ballard was doing everything as no one ever had. He was doing the simplest of things (not the fanfares that she often watched in the romantic movies, which she thought she needed as a girl), like cooking for her, making her a dress so she would have a change of clothes, staying with her at night when she was scared…and yet…they felt so…familiar…so nice to her that she couldn’t help but smile every time. Meanwhile Ballard grabbed hold of the trunk and then pulled himself upwards, using his strong legs and feet to boost himself up towards the fruit. Cornelia was surprised. He was unexpectedly agile for his size (well at least from what she would expect seeing someone with the physique that screamed very much muscle and bone density and not flexes and stretches). Every time he found a branch, he would step on it and use his hands to grab onto some taller branch, feeling his way through, just in case any of these branches was too weak to take his weight. She watched him reach the fruit and holding it with one hand, cutting it off the branch. She got alarmed when he began descending this time single-handed so he wouldn’t drop the fruit (which he held close to his body like an American football player would hold the ball) but Ballard slide down and jumped to the ground, landing to his hand and feet. He raised himself again to his full height and Cornelia couldn’t help herself clap her hands (earning another blush from the giant).“Ballard that was incredible! You need to teach me that sometimes!”“I… I would be honored…”She giggled again and looked at the fruit. It was indeed beautiful and it was emitting a really sweet smell, something between melon and mango. She smiled up at Ballard. The giant smiled back, softly. He cracked the fruit open with his hands. Cornelia realized that its outer layer was hard and yet crunchy (similar to the European lotus she would often purchase). The inside of the fruit was a yellowish orange like the inside flesh of a mango and its arrangement resembled a santol fruit. The sight was beautiful, as if the fruit was made out of some gold or copper material.“It truly looks delicious, Ballard” she said, “But it’s huge!”Ballard blushed for billionth of time.“We…we can always share… I can give some to…to Simarah as well…if you want…”Cornelia noticed how he hesitated on the name for a second. Sure he wanted to give some to that kind woman as well (Cornelia really liked her) but she was almost certain he would want to give some to his sister too. He avoided speaking her name knowing how tensed she became with her (for reasons that not even Cornelia herself could fully comprehend). Oh, no she wouldn’t think of that now. Her morning was already calm. She also appreciated that he was trying really hard not to upset her.“I’d like that…” she whispered gratefullyBallard softly cut a slice from the smaller compartments of the fruit and gave it to her. It indeed looked like a small watermelon slice to her. Cornelia took a bite and she was greeted by a really sweet taste that the closest she could compare it with was earthly mango but it also had an essence of spiciness in it, mixed with a sweet taste like sugar to the mix. It was indeed sweet.“It’s delicious indeed! You were right!” she said.She cut half of her piece and offered it to him.“Please, try some…”Ballard blushed but not only of shyness…of happiness. He had the impression if he ate the fruit now, it would taste much sweeter than anything else he tasted before…only because it came straight from her hand…“Much Gratitude, Earth Guardian…” he whisperedThat brief second their hands met, that brief second her cool skin touched his, his heart stopped functioning properly. He felt much faster than any other time. Was it because now he knew the reason? Was it because he was constantly thinking about it? As he drove the piece to his mouth and when it touched his tongue Ballard felt like he had never tasted anything sweeter… They passed half their morning sitting at the grass under the coolness of that tree, surrounded by sunrays and green grass and leaves, munching some of the fruit and barely talking at all, leaving the birds half-lull them to their embrace. Cornelia, with her head to the leafy pillow felt happier than ever before in her life, much calmer… She didn’t even seek her medication at all that day. She surrendered herself to the song of nature. Her powers allowed her to feel the song of nature deep down her veins. She could feel the roots of the perennial tree beneath her, growing underground…she could feel the juices travel to its trunk like blood in veins… She could feel the flowers turning their head to the sun… The giant next to her blushed and wordlessly plucked a small flower and gave it to her. It looked like sage’s flower with parsley leaves. Cornelia smiled and accepted it, smelling the exotic and alien flower she got struck by a mixed scent of rosemary and thyme in the same whiff. She eyed Ballard smiling widedly. Yeah…she wouldn’t mind some of this chivalry at all…And Ballard was holding the unfinished half of the fruit by his side, keeping it for later to give it to his family. As always…he was thinking of others before anything else…Ballard could not stop taking glances of her. Her scent, her unique scent was getting mixed with the scents of grass and flowers around her and somehow, unlike any other human scent that ever caught his nose, she was also perfectly well blending in; being both unique and identical with the nature around her… He had found his One…and who would have thought…she would be from another world altogether? Who would have thought he would feel so happy and content with someone even when they do not even say a word. Who would have thought that even now that he believed he was not what Cornelia yarned for was not him but he was feeling happy just to share a smile and a look with her. He knew now that no matter what she chose he would always feel happy when she laughed and he would die every time she cried… Oh yeah…he was terminally ill… And what a beautiful illness it was…...
katerinaaqu
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